Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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