toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
COCAINE IS GR8
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
