We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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