pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
