i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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