I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
