is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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