Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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