So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
