I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
