I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Verdict: uncircumcised.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
