SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
