can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
