Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
