i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
