i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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