just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
