Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
