Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
