I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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