she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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