I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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