there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
