Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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