I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
