i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
