Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
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