if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I love black thongs
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
