So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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