Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You are the jesus of drinking
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Idk if I want to put a bra on
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
