Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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