I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
