Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
