So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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