no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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