she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
