Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The beer is more important than you right now.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
