When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
