We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My pussy is not your playground.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
