Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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