I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
this will be a night to untag.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
