He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
