i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
