shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
