Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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