Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have post one night stand depression
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
