they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
