So drunk its hurt
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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