I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
