My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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