If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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