At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
