stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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